We've been struggling with the idea of childcare recently.
I love being a stay-at-home mom. I wouldn't have it any other way. I get to be with my kids during these amazing and crucial years, teaching them and learning from them and creating a safe, loving environment for them. I know Airan is totally jealous and would trade places with me in a heartbeat. That said, my side job as a freelance editor has been harder and harder to fit into my day while maintaining my sanity. So a choice is before us: Either we find a daycare solution, or I quit freelancing.
For now, we're tentatively going with the daycare path -- by which I mean we're kind of, sort of, just barely starting to look into our options, and I'm feeling a touch overwhelmed and intimidated. Nanny or daycare? Daycare center or home daycare? Part-time or full-time? Nanny share? Just find a friend with kids and trade off duties a few days a week? How much is all this going to cost?
I tell you, my head is spinning. Aside from the fact that there are so many flavors of childcare to choose from, I have two big concerns that I'm not sure how to handle:
1. How do I find/create a situation in which I'm comfortable leaving my kids, the most important people on Planet Earth?
2. Even when I find/create that situation, where on Planet Earth will I find the courage to actually leave them there?
8 comments:
Sorry, I could never make enough money working to make daycare worthwhile.
I'm no help at all.
Given how fragile the girls are, this is an extremely tough decision. A nanny who could watch the girls in your home while you work would be great, but the girls would still insist on attention from you.
Hey, maybe you could hire Uncle David!
We struggled with this for a long while as well. I even went so far as to interview for, and get, a job. But the hours were long and I didn't feel I would make enough to justify the heartbreak. So we decided to be poorer. But my decision should not be your decision. I think finding someone you feel great about will ease the anxiety of leaving them. I will keep my fingers crossed for you.
I hear that Pop-pop and Gang-gee work very cheap and they do love those girls...
Gang-gee & Pop Pop would love to watch the girls.
We should move there so you wouldn't have to drive so far to get the girls to day care.
That would be great.
Wouldn't those girls be spoiled!
I don't believe I had a choice in the matter.It was either work or go on a really strict diet that didn't include too much food.
You can always change your mind. If you choose to work outside the home and you don't like it, then stay home again. One thing I've learned through experience (finally) is that nothing is set in stone. You don't like the way things are going?...change them!
Could you try 1 day a week or just 4 hours a couple of times per week? If it doesn't work you can back out of it.
If you decide to go the nanny / home day care route, I know one of each in your area that come with the highest of recommendations: mine, of course. Seriously!!
Let me first say, this is such a touchy subject and I want to be perfectly clear that I support all women: women who stay home, women who work, women who do both. It's a constant struggle and there is no universal answer, obviously.
For me, I never could have imagined that the feeling I had when I first left Nora and Owen at daycare would ever go away. I thought my heart would just continue to be ripped to pieces until there was nothing left. But it didn't happen that way. Instead, Jan became a wonderful and huge part of our lives. I trust her implicitly and often turn to her for advice on my own children. I truly believe "it takes a village" and for me (and many others, I think) I am a better parent because of the time I get to regroup; time to myself doing work I enjoy. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
There are other benefits as well: I'm not dragging them around running errands or running around after they go to bed because I have a couple hours during the week without them to take care of those things. This allows the time that I'm with them for me to really be with them.
The girls are at an age where stimulation from another environment, from other children will benefit them. I think it would be a wonderful thing for all of you.
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