You: Hey, Kelly!As you can see, I've completely lost my ability to talk about anything other than my kids. In every conversation, I talk about them every chance I get. I'm constantly thinking about more interesting things I could be telling you about them, if only I could find a way to fit it into the conversation. Because you're dying to know, right? Everyone is. I'm sure of it.
Me: Hi! How are you?
You: I'm great, thanks for asking! How are you?
Me: Oh, we're fantastic. The girls are doing just great. Sophia's standing now, did you hear? And Evelyn is mastering two-word phrases. I mean, they're just so advanced. It's incredible. And did I tell you about Sophia's adorable obsession with penguins? So cute! She calls them "beedee" -- isn't that the cutest thing ever?
You: Well, that's great. So how are you doing?
Me: Oh, great. You know. The girls keep me busy. Yesterday, they had physical therapy, which is just so much fun, and of course they have their 18-month check-up coming up, and then there's their holiday photo shoot. Our schedule is pretty full!
You: [exhibiting great patience] That sounds like a handful! I've had a lot going on lately, too.
Me: Really? That's great. Did I tell you about Sophia's newest word? Window! Isn't that great? That brings her total word count to 47 -- mama, dada, bubble, baby, puppy ... [etc.]
So, fine. I'm obsessed with my kids. Most parents of young children are, right? Seems perfectly normal to me. However, it's been occurring to me lately that not only do I love to talk about my kids -- I now have no desire to talk about myself. Because I don't really have any interest in myself. I am secondary. When I take the girls out and people ooo and ahh over them but don't even say hello to me, I'm not offended. I'm pleased. When people ask what's going on in my life that isn't kid-related, I have nothing to say. Sure, I have lots going on. I could talk about choir or my freelance work or my gripping addiction to World of Warcraft. But who wants to talk about me? The Girls! Are! So Cute!
Is it bad that I've lost most of my own identity in them? Should I be fighting to maintain some sense of individuality, some Kelly-ness? A tiny shred of interest in anything other than them? A little voice in the back of my head wonders about this, but I'm too busy dressing the girls up in cute outfits and taking pictures of them to pay it any mind.
7 comments:
That is pretty normal.
You need to get this book called "The Female Brain" sorry I don't remember who wrote it (Your Aunt Jeannie has the book) the writer is a neurochemical psychiatrist
It will tell you the changes you are going through and what the girls are doing. It is very easy to read for a non medical background.
I love reading about the girls, seeing their pictures, and learnong you thoughts and opinions on many different subjects
Your ex-aunt Darla used to get furious when people paid attention to her baby, Amanda, and not enough attention to Darla.
Darla, we know, is NOT anything close to normal.
You're doing fine. Right now the girls are very dependent on you and Airan, and it's normal that you're focused on them.
You haven't lost yourself at all, you've just added to little girls to yourself.
Yes, it's just how mothers are, especially if you're home much of the time just staring at adorable and hilarious children. I do it too. I think that the obsession has dwindled just a bit as my kids have gotten older and more self-sufficient, though. You'll come back someday as Kelly, 2nd edition, all the more fascinating for the wear.
Is that Gymboree your girls are wearing? So cute!
Now for the next step. Sell the cute clothes they grow out of on Ebay so you can have money for more clothes.
You can thank me later.
testing
Sorry that was me--I have been having a lot of trouble posting on blogger beta :)
I am the same way :) I figure I will have plenty of me time when they are teens and no longer interested in spending time with me ;)
Nanette
definately normal but try to take some time for yourself. Both you and they will be glad you did.
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