The Hip Wars

Throughout my adult life, medical professionals have commented to me on the fact that my hips are ideal for birthing babies. That, my friends, is not a compliment. My body can be described thusly: small of stature, short of waist, wide of hips, and birdlike of legs. And post-pregnancy, I've packed a few extra curves onto that already odd arrangement.

I've come to terms with this body of mine. I'm not plagued by body-image issues, and I even have a feature or two I'm proud of (hint: they come in pairs). But I must confess I've always had a hard time buying pants that fit. Jeans are always either four inches too long or, if I go for the petite or ankle-length variety, two inches too short. I'm not good about having my clothes tailored, and I'm certainly not going to tailor them myself. And now that I weigh a bit more than I used to, I'm not even sure what size I am anymore -- I just know I'm not the size I used to be.

I don't have time or energy to tromp around from store to store, trying on pair after pair of pants in different sizes and styles, searching for that perfect fit. However, I've been inspired by Anne Glamore's Breast Wars parts I and II (posted on her blog Tiny Kingdom, one of my favorite web sites these days).

Ms. Glamore ordered herself a whole bunch of bras in order to search for that perfect fit in the privacy of her own home, returning all bras that didn't fit. (Hilarity ensues.) As much as I'd love to try the same thing with pants, the trouble is that you have to lay out a bit of cash to get an assortment of sizes and styles from which to choose, and it's guaranteed that you'll be returning most of what you order -- if not all of it. That is a bit daunting. I'd rather avoid the whole rigmarole, but it is more or less irritating than dragging myself out to multiple stores to do the same thing?

So here's my plan: I placed a small order at gap.com for a pair of jeans in a size I've never tried on before it my life. (Actually, I ordered two pairs, but I just got notification telling me one is out of stock.) I'm hoping against hope that these jeans will fit me like a glove, and then I can order several more pairs just like them. If they don't fit, then maybe it's time to make that big order.

Or, then again, perhaps I just need to buck up and brave those shops. After all, if Ms. Glamore lived anywhere near Chicago, I'd tell her to visit Schwartz's Intimate Apparel -- there's no better way to find bras that fit than to be felt up and humiliated by little old ladies with a supernatural knowledge of support underthings.