Talk to me, AB!

Today, I need your help.

I love Alton Brown. I love, love, love him. I'm a little bit obsessed with him. If I weren't married and he weren't married and Jon Stewart had rejected me horribly and I needed strong arms to comfort me and cook comfort food for me, AB would be my first choice.

(Obviously, this is a fantasy scenario. I am quite happily married. AB is married -- I can't vouch for the level of happiness in his marriage, however. Jon Stewart would never reject me, because the minute we met, assuming I weren't married and he weren't married, he would know that he was cosmically destined to be utterly devoted to me for all eternity. But suspend your disbelief for me, would you?)

Mr. Brown recently redesigned his Web site. It's been a pretty bare-bones site for a good, long time now. Months. I shan't complain. The site is pretty, and I'm sure AB has enough on his hands these days. However, the new site does not appear to include a Rants and Raves section, as AB's old site did. I loved his Rants and Raves! AB once wrote on his Rants and Raves page about how, if he were forced to choose only one food to eat for the rest of his life, he would choose cheese. And that was when I knew that AB was very nearly the fondest desire of my heart, right on the heels of Mr. Jon Stewart (who plays a distant second, of course, to dear, sweet, long-suffering Airan).

I've been trying to email AB to find out whether he plans to include R&R on his new site, but I'm not having much luck. AB doesn't post an email address on his new site, and my attempts to guess at what his email address might be have been unsuccessful thus far. If anyone out there knows AB's address, please pass it along.

UPDATE: AB's site now includes a section called Knowledge, which seems to take the place of his old Rants and Raves. I approve.

Three-quarters of a year already!

The girls are nine months old today! How did that happen?

Yale or Bust, part two

Well, it only took a month for Senator Obama to respond to my tirade about funding cuts for financial aid programs. (Still nothing from Senator Durbin.) Here's what the senator has to say:

Student loans provide critical financial aid for many. At the time I was attending college, financial aid was primarily in the form of grants. Unfortunately, this is no longer the case. Graduates now have more and more difficulty keeping up with loan payments. At a minimum, our government has the responsibility to ensure that the most affordable and sensible loans are available to our students.

The federal budget should reflect the nation's priorities, and the priorities established in this budget are clearly out-of-touch with those of the American people. I understand the need to get our federal deficit under control. However, I do not accept that funding domestic priorities and restoring discipline to federal spending are mutually exclusive propositions. It is tragic that student loans have been targeted, and that our students must pay a disproportionate price for this misguided definition of fiscal responsibility.

I joined a bipartisan group of Senators who voted against this budget bill and its devastating domestic cuts, but it ultimately passed. I have attached my statement from the Congressional Record regarding Budget Reconciliation.

I hope that Congress can work in a bipartisan manner on reducing the federal deficit without turning our backs on important domestic programs that help the less fortunate. The cuts that Congress has passed will have serious consequences for millions of hard-working Americans.

In closing, the budget legislation is only one piece of financial aid policy. As you know, the Higher Education Act (HEA) is up for reauthorization. HEA programs primarily focus on student financial aid; services to help high school students to graduate and enter successfully college; support for higher education institutions; and teacher training. A three-month extension to the financial aid provisions of HEA has been passed, allowing for continuation until March 31, 2006. In the mean time, differences in the reauthorization provisions in the House and in the Senate are likely to be ironed out in conference. You may be certain I will continue to monitor the situation and keep our shared priorities on my mind.

I'm glad to know the senator shares my concerns, but I can't help but think this issue is going to be lost in a sea of important issues, and by the time my girls are ready for higher education in 2023, we'll be on our own to come up with funding.

UPDATE 09/26/2006: When I complained about it taking Senator Obama a month to respond to me, little did I know it would take Senator Durbin a full seven months to respond. Here's what he had to say:

Since you contacted me previously regarding the cost of higher education,
I wanted to share with you some developments in the Senate that may affect
this matter.

To help address the burden of college costs, I have introduced the Stop
the Raid on Student Aid Act (S. 2573). The Deficit Reduction bill that
was pushed through Congress by the Majority at the end of 2005 included
$12 billion in cuts to student aid. It was the single largest cut in the
history of financial aid programs. My bill would cut interest rates in
half for both student and parent borrowers, mandate regular increases in
Pell Grants, and allow students to consolidate their loans while still in
school in order to lock in lower interest rates.

I also have worked for tax deductions and credits to help families better
afford the cost of tuition and student loans. I am disappointed that the
Majority has allowed a tuition deduction to expire that could help many
students and their families pay college costs. I support renewing and
expanding the opportunities provided to families through the tax code.

An educated workforce is vital to our nation's security agencies. I am an
original cosponsor of the Homeland Security Education Act (S. 2450), which
would create scholarships for students who pursue bachelor degrees in
science, technology, engineering, mathematics, or critical foreign
languages and then go on to work in a security-related federal agency.

Both of these bills (S. 2573 and S. 2450) have been referred to the
Committee on Health, Education, Labor and Pensions for further action. I
am not a member of that committee but I am committed to working with my
colleagues toward passage of these important bills.

I also am asking the Government Accountability Office to study the state
of the student loan industry. The proposed report would focus on whether
borrowers have been adversely affected by changes in lenders' business
practices over the past 10 years. I hope that the results of this study
will point us toward other legislative solutions to this troubling
problem.

Hard-working students deserve a chance to go as far as their talents will
take them. I will continue to fight to make college more affordable so
that Americans have an opportunity to improve their lives through
education.

Sincerely,
Richard J. Durbin
United States Senator

Fox has made a huge mistake

Today's topic is Arrested Development, the funniest show on television. At least, it's the funniest show on television until about 9:00 tonight (central time), after which time it will no longer be on television.

Much of my anger regarding the cancellation of Arrested Development has been focused on Fox. The network has not done a good job of marketing the show. This season, they had it leading into Prison Break, and were upset when it didn't generate a big carryover audience for the new drama. Now, I'm no network executive, but what kind of idiot do you have to be to think Arrested Development and Prison Break would share the same audience? And for tonight's big finale, they've scheduled the final four episodes of Arrested Development to run opposite the Olympics opening ceremonies. Could it be any more obvious that they just don't care about this show? Yes, Fox has done mighty ill by Arrested Development. It's almost as if they didn't want the show to succeed.

However, while Fox is largely to blame here, I'm more disappointed with American viewers. Yes, Fox didn't get the word out about this great show. No, they didn't program it well. But that wasn't the only problem. The ratings were bad because people just didn't tune in. I've come to the conclusion that Americans are too stupid for a show like Arrested Development. You have to pay attention to this show. It doesn't deliver the obvious laughs that you get from the many generic sitcoms out there. Arrested Development asks a little more of its viewers. Too many Americans lack intelligence and patience, and thus Arrested Development was doomed.

The American public doesn't deserve a show like Arrested Development. I just wish those of us who do appreciate it didn't have to share the punishment.

Podcast obsession

I am obsessed with podcasts. I know, I'm about a year behind the curve. All the cool kids became obsessed with podcasts long, long ago, and now merely think of them as an indispensable part of life. The only people who didn't beat me to podcasts are the occasional grandmother who isn't online (I don't actually know any, but surely there must be some out there) and the Amish. I'm amazed by the variety of podcasts I can download and listen to without paying a penny. Yesterday, I loaded up my iTunes with NOVA's ScienceNOW podcast, a six-part series of Noam Chomsky discussing the War on Terror, several NPR podcast offerings (including Science Friday, All Songs Considered, and Wait Wait--Don't Tell Me!), and a They Might Be Giants podcast--all free! I was irritated to discover that every episode of This American Life will cost me four bucks, but I can't really blame them. They gave me my chance to listen for free. If I didn't manage to tune in to the radio station at the right time, that's my problem. Rumor has it my favorite celebrity chef, Alton Brown, will soon start having his own podcasts. I can hardly wait! I'm learning a lot from these podcasts. For example, Senator Barack Obama's podcast informed me that the senator voted to extend the Patriot Act for three months. What?? Obama voted in favor of that? I'm shocked. Here I've been thinking of him as the perfect senator, a man who does no wrong. I'll have to reevaluate. I've been listening to Al Franken's Air America show via podcast--this way, I don't have to listen to those annoying AM radio commercials. Al's show keeps me up-to-date on the latest vicious lies spewed forth by Bill O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, and their ilk. Infuriating, but informative. Also, Al keeps me frothing at the mouth about current Washington scandals, including the Jack Abramoff business and the wire-tapping travesty.

Here's the problem with podcasts, and every other form of media--I lose at least a quarter of everything I attempt to listen to, watch, or read to the cries of needy babies. I know Al was talking about Valarie Plame today, but I can't for the life of me tell you what he was saying. I get a pretty spotty picture of current events these days.

And if you'll excuse me, this post is going to be cut off by the cries of needy babies. Maybe I can finish that Al Franken podcast later today. I'll let you know what he says.

Yale or bust

Here's what's on my mind today: college tuition. Lots of it. Come autumn of 2023, I'm looking at not one but two new college freshmen. That gives me just over 17 years to save up approximately $176,961 times two, assuming the girls go to an Illinois state college. Given our government's propensity for cutting student aid programs of late (they just cut funding for student loans by 30%), I don't think we can count on any outside assistance to pay for tuition. According to one estimate, we need to be saving $9,000 a year, starting now, to make sure we're ready come 2023. Our little family's income barely manages to cover all the formula we need from month to month, so we don't exactly have nine grand just lying around.

I've emailed both of my senators, Dick Durbin and Barack Obama, about this. I hope they'll email me back and let me know what their proposed solutions are, but I'm not holding my breath.

Here's my proposed solution. We've already decided that the girls will be musicians. (We'll let them choose their own instruments--we are very lenient and open-minded parents.) All they have to do is get into Yale's music school. Recently, a $100 million anonymous donation made it possible to for Yale to waive tuition for its music students. So there's our answer--the girls will just have to get into Yale. We'll be starting those Suzuki violin lessons next week.

Oops. Upon further investigation, it looks like it's just Yale's graduate music program that's free of charge. Looks like we'll need another solution for those bachelor's degrees.

How about this? We put together a Save Karyn-style web site and just beg for money. For those who aren't familiar with the site, Save Karyn was a site built by a young woman who, through her own folly, managed to get herself in way over her head with credit card debt. She used the site to beg kind strangers to donate money to her cause and help her pay off her credit cards. Repulsive, if you ask me. But successful. (She also used the site to plug her eBay auctions--she was selling off lots of the designer accoutrement she bought, which is how she racked up that debt to begin with. That's slightly less repulsive.)

So something like EducateEvieAndSophie.com, perhaps? We'll beg strangers for $20 here, $50 there, all for a good cause. We'll post adorable pictures of the girls, and maybe quarterly updates on how well our college savings investments are doing. There can be a little clock counting down the days until we need to come up with those huge piles of cash: "Only 17 years, 6 months, and 24 days until the girls start college!"

Could it work? Hmmm.

What kind of mother am I?

Here I am, three posts into my new blog, and I haven't yet posted a picture of the girls. I'm ashamed of myself. That lapse has now been rectified.

Why this is here

So here is my shiny new blog. I thought I might have a few things to say. I like to rant and rave, but I have a rather small audience these days, and a large percentage of that audience is as of yet unable to participate in adult conversation. I thought it might be fun to, every now and then, as something occurs to me that I think might interest others, share my ideas with the wide world. So here goes. I'm still sorting out this blogging business. Not sure what to do or say, not sure how this site works, not sure I really can sustain something like this for more than, say, seven posts. We'll see.

Post the First

Why is it that blogs almost always use serif fonts? I've long preferred the sans serif fonts, myself. Serif fonts scream of typewriters, movable type, Gutenberg, days gone by. So I'm struck by the fact that so many bloggers (not all, I know, but many) choose to go with your Times New Roman, your Courier, your Bookman Old Style. Is it a yearning to reach back to an earlier time, to connect with the earliest roots of publishing? Is it linked to the fact that many bloggers are frustrated writers using any outlet they can to share their ideas with the masses, and somehow a nice, reliable serif font best gets the message across?

I don't have an answer to this burning question. And I can't tell you why I'm going with a serif font right here on my very own blog, where I have complete control and could subject you to Comic Sans if I so chose. I don't know why, but a sturdy, time-honored serif font just feels right.

All About Kelly

Things you might not know about me:

1) I love my life.

2) I am married to my best friend and soul mate and have been since July 12, 1997.

3) Okay, I don't actually believe in "soul mates." But if there were such a thing, Airan would be mine.

4) I have the smartest, prettiest, and overall best twin girls on the planet, born June 10, 2005. My little sweeties were born 12 weeks premature and weighed in at not quite 3 pounds each.

5) I have (and the twins inherited from me) osteogenesis imperfecta, a genetic collagen deficiency that causes brittle bones and low muscle tone. Fortunately, we have the mildest form of the disease, so it doesn't have too much affect on our daily lives.

6) I really wish I could be a vegetarian, but I must eat red meat for medical reasons. (See item 5.)

7) I am a huge sci-fi geek.

8) I am atheist.

9) I have a BA in English from the University of Northern Colorado.

10) I can touch my nose with my tongue.

11) I think of myself as a liberal, but I'm not so thrilled with the two-party system these days.

12) I sing for pleasure. I used to want singing to be my career -- specifically, I longed for opera divadom. Now, I'm content to take lessons when I have time and belt the occasional jazz standard for the twins.

13) Here I am in my early 30s, and I have no idea what I want to do with my life. Sometimes I want to go to pastry school. Sometimes I want to study physics. Sometimes I want to be an opera singer. (See item 12.) Most of the time, I want to lie in bed and sleep all day, maybe read some good books, occasionally turn on the TV, and then roll over and go back to sleep. However, the twins don't allow that lifestyle.

14) I grew up in Grand Junction, Colorado, but have lived in Chicago since 1998. I could live here for the rest of my life.