Apple's iOS5, newly installed on iPhones across the land, has a built-in text expander. Helpful techie websites (e.g. , http://lifehacker.com/5849229/how-to-configure-ios-5s-awesome-built+in-text-expansion) offer useful suggestions for phrases and shortcuts you can program into your phone: "brb" for "Be right back," or "thx" for "Thanks," for example. I feel as though these techies aren't really exploiting the text expander's full potential. To get the most out of my iPhone and to save myself time, I've programed a few shortcuts that will save me countless hours of thumb-typing.
"stm": Stop texting me; I am busy and/or you are boring.
"ctn": Can't text now--I'm driving in the rain on the highway, and every time you text me, you knock me out of the Netflix app and interrupt my screening of "Wives & Daughters."
"ich": I can haz [to be combined with one of the following]
- "chz": cheezburger
- "fum": five uninterrupted minutes
- "atctjhastitsohap": all the children to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace
"prs": Proofread your text and resubmit it; I will then consider reading it.
"pdb": Poor, dead bastard.
"wwf" (for use within the Words With Friends app): I accept your surrender.
"manifesto": I hereby declare that I will stand up for the rights of the downtrodden, the neglected, the hungry; and that I will cherish every brightly burning spark of inspiration, innovation, inclusion, and love that drives us to be better humans and makes the universe spin with wonder and harmony and joy; and that I will require a margarita.
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